Sunday, September 30, 2007


theclownzombie by ~weevilgirl on deviantART

this, is suppossed to be a bookcover.the front bit of it. an assignment for my commercialart+graphicdesigning class.i suck. and have NEVER tried anything like this before.

andthisissuppossedtobethecoverforanimagi narystorybookwhichmakesmedieoutofhilariousgloom.thank you.

Friday, September 28, 2007


i am
the rainbow in grey.
to the passing winds i smile
as music billows out through cracks
in my mask..
counting shards of illusions
i sit and draw stars on stones
and watch them die
call me a dreamer in my
silly guile

i waver for once..
before the shell i must break
falls silently ajar
blow stardust gently
into the hull
and watch the colours rally..

Wednesday, September 26, 2007


..i see you
on the otherside of my dreams.
staring and not knowing what to do
feeling like you're
trapped in my gaze
that says nothing but yearns
for what..
only the moon knows

i know you have
another hand to hold
when i fade away with the stars

you smother me
with feelings i cant explain

if only
i could wear my heart on my face
and paint it red and blue
but if you would have liked it
id paint it green for you

and once again
the wall of clouds
keeps me from reaching out

i witness the war
between kingdoms of dreams and fears
and watch them blent

staring back at you
i can only wish i knew
what to make known
and not just fall deeper in this pit

will you still remember
to smile at me
while i fade away with the stars?
even half a smile will do
save the bigger half for the one who shines
on the otherside of your dreams..


i had deleted this for some reason and yes, im reposting it.
i dont see the point of not having it here anymore anyway.
just a piece of utterly silly shit.
see, i am not even labeling it crapattemptsatpoetry..its just turned out this way even when i didnt want it to.
just. whatever.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

i cant row a little boat.

6:01 p.m.
.. i dont think i can talk to you then..
not when you couldnt do the same.
im sorry i did...

choking on tears and crying silently sucks so much.
i want to howl and die.
but i will live to make myself the most miserable person in the entire universe.
its always my fault.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

itsunfair,youunderstand? itsdownrightcruelsometimes. whycantitNOTbesoforachange?
why does being mature/smarter/stronger have to be a disadvantage? i know i can deal with it. i know i can swallow all the shit in a jiffy and my little finger wont even have a clue.
i know i can spend ages in the colddarkfuckinghollowsoflonelinessandstillfeeluncomfortablehavingtorevealthatimlonely andneveraskforanything So ?
so i dont even DESERVE togetthethingsineedsobadlybutnevergetneverdemandneverbegforsoidontgettolive?

iwantanapple.but *sigh*
ill buy chlormints tommorow. soillhavetostealarupee. shh.


have you ever heard of emotional outbursts in the form of stools?
like,ever? now you have.
monday night and tuesday morning.
yes so that.
and my maths teacher scolded me and i dont like it.

no i have nothing more to tell you.

no well actually, i do.

some text messages:

shravvy:i dont know if im mad at you, i dont know if i should be.
call me idealistic but i thought friends were suppossed to be there for each other.
anyway, have a good life.
THE LAST TIME I PRETENDED TO BE MAD AT YOU, I WAS ONLY BEING THE KID THAT I ALWAYS AM IM LIKE THAT!WTF.icantcallyouandyouknowwhy.ive been going through shit lately and i cant believe your sms NOW.
shravvy:you were "pretending"?what do you mean you were "pretending"? HOWDAREYOU?now just to get it out of my system DONTYOUEVERGOPRETEDINGTHINGSLIKETHAT! GO POKE YOURSELF VERY HARD! now dont ever be so thick about it again.

we are what? mad?yes.
i have a very eventful/interesting/happeneing/c00l enviousnessity murdering you?yes?yesysyjshk?

go eat my socks.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

...समुद्र कि लहरों को जब वायू प्रबल वेग से उठाती गिरातीं हैं, तब जल शिखर वायू के वेग के कारण अस्थिर हो जातें हैं। ऐसे समय में जल शिखरों के उपरी भाग में फेन की सृष्टी होती हैं । इस क्रिया के दौराण पानी के उन लहरों पर कई बुल्बुलें बनतें और फूटतें हैं । हवा के वेग से मानो बुल्बुलों का संसार भी हलचल से भर जाता है । वे इधर उधर बिखर कर मिट जातें हैं परंतु लहरें उठतीं गिरतीं रहतीं हैं ....

पर अगर बुल्बुलों के उसी संसार के साथ हमारा संसार भी कहीं खो जाए तो? अगर उसी संसार में हमारा सारा जीवन बसा हुआ हो, तो? लहरें भी किनारा पातें ही उसी किनारे पर मिट जातीं हैं । तो फिर बुल्बुलों का क्या कसूर होता है जो उन्हें पहले ही दम तोरना परता है? हमारा क्या कसूर अगर हम उन बुल्बुलों को ही अपना साथी मान बैठें?

basically, im insane.

Monday, September 17, 2007


life is such a twisted little whore.
MUST it be so convoluted?
oh yes.
I'm wise.
and ill drink your brain until no more is left.
you are stupid, and i love you.
and you cant help it.
and i wont change for nuts.
no matter how much it hurts.
unless me being me is killing you and i really do love you still.
which i do and i will.
but you wont know nor care
so kill this phony love affair?

look up at the sky
pretend to talk to me about your scars
and when the stars pee
come up to me
and complain
and whine
be the kid you dont want to be

it will be okay eventually..

learn to
cry with the stars
smile at the scars
the path is longer than it seems
and when you're weary
of the walk
ill comfort you in our dreams

no its nothing.
friends sometimes mean the world, even if they're only virtual.

Friday, September 14, 2007


it was always make believe
a charade
blatant, well cultivated fakery
a castle built with breezes
that smelt of intoxicating breaths

and i always did believe
phantasms are fulfilling

i've never touched your smile
though curved it once or twice
never tasted your smile

consuming my defences
confusing the visionary
when the shadow slipped inside
the lurid box of dreams

a glow worm was born

but ive never kissed your eyes
and a phantom voice reminds me
i just always miss your eyes

and i somehow do believe
phantasms are fulfilling
and i always do recieve

the chimeric castle is
by the glow worm
born from shadows

and the shadow will suffice
until the day
i get to hold your eyes
in mine

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


.grab.let go. by ~weevilgirl on deviantART

fullview yes.

it was done in school.


so well the day was rather weird. had nothing to do in school.most people had gone for the kalaikunda trip, i dont care if i spelt that wrong. spent the entire day being the laughing gas i am. XD
so that.and made this thing. and submitted a poem for some nie edition our school is gonna be doing blah i dont know. gave in kaleidoscope.whats the point anyway? psht.
so im her TURTLE!:DDDDDDDDDJSFHJHF!the male actually.:P suits me fine thanks. :D
and the female is Shay. shayontini. she is femality full. so well.its all good.
life's good.
but dad wants the laptop. NOW.THIS INSTANT.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


twig by ~weevilgirl on deviantART

twigtwig by ~weevilgirl on deviantART

gianttwig held against the sky.

you can either like them, or die.

its that simple.


im veryveriudusillyandmadandkjdh yes all that thankyou.

friend's cam, btw.

Monday, September 10, 2007


i like
the way your touch
smells like the unfinished lullaby
-just a heartbeat away
yet so out of reach-
the way
your outlying eyes silently promise
to hold a piece of the moon
for me
when i'm tired of kissing the dead sky
and the way our shadows die into each other
somewhere in my subconscious
amidst strange melodies of
a lost tomorrow

my skin is reeking
as the touch is lost

like a guitar string snapping
close to the heart
it almost hurts

Sunday, September 9, 2007


Thursday, September 6, 2007


thethingimade by ~weevilgirl on deviantART

thats one THAT took me long to make.
wont say much.

and the thing below, is something i made in school today.

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

we bloody sucked multicoloured-baboon-balls* today onstage and i feel so bloody ecstatic about it that i have started doubting my insanity.
i think it is pregnant with triplets.

*and that, i do not mean literally im sure you understand.

itssomethings likethis actually

Sunday, September 2, 2007


conversation of the day:
pu:amay teente mosha kaamre dilo! amar lameria hoye gele? x(
ei amar lameria hobe nah toh?
fishhater:nah nah ei mosha gulo totally harmless lil creatures
pu: yes, bhogobaan banniyeche tai emni emni ghure berachhe nah?hamless lil creatures *snort*
fishhater: kochhop ana uchit chilo, wouldve helped
pu: KOCCHOP? it couldnt possibly fly around and eat them, could it?what help would a kocchop be?
[fishhater be bewildered.]
ship: goodness!she means KOCHHOP DHOOP!*ROTFL*
fishhater: really pu, we're talking about MOSQUITOES here so mosquitoes and kocchop DHOOPS ...
pu: but you must specify! you've got a frigging turtle up in your terrace!i thought you'd be talking about some giant turtle with some hugeish neck that would go *gawpgawp* [pu makes weird aberrant gestures which suggest that she's possessed by the spirit of some giant, musquitohungry turtle]

does not die of laughterdom. she lives to tell the tale.

quote of the day:

"if i dont learn playing [atleast] the drums, the piano, the bass, the mouthorgan and the sarod before i die, im so going to kill myself"

dream of the day[er..night]:
first scene that i my granparents' place.jumping up and down, elated, chanting the Avada Kedavra curse.chanting, yes.
change of scene:pu in a sari , with an annoying plastic smile on , and fishhater in a metallica tshirt with khakhi cargothing on, and carrying her turtle in her hand ring our doorbell and mom answers the door and... [the unclefucker song playing on the background] they go mwahahahajkhkhdksf
change of scene: me,in the middle of a rather narrow passage, throwing killing curses [using a drumstick] at orange slimy things which multiply at being hit by the curse.and also giantify.
rapid change of scene: me, walking down the...street?dont remember... slapping the bloody seeds out of a huge apple [yesAPPLE:/] and laughing like a lunatic who has just escaped from a mental aylum.
and the craziest bits are lost.


oh and

dshfsdjfkllj of the day:

pu: [pointing at me] this girl is going to rule the world someday!