Sunday, August 24, 2008

talk about foresight (at hindsight)

this is being written as i consider suicide.
the sleeping pills know the way to the garage and might
do me in before i begin to protest.

Letter to myself, from a week ago:

before ever attempting suicide:
read poetry or newspapers in the hope
that either will

change your life.try dancing again and fracture a toe/
sprain a ligament/bump into someone to
remind yourself of how it once changed your life.
cry over it,

get over a black bird without mercy,
join a conspiracy,kill a
bitch and say im jealous of you.stop believing in
karma, put it in a tarot card and motion blur

the shit.give up trying to belong to
borrowed walls, know no safer
roofs than accumulated dreams.consider this: every
line drawing grows into a Venn diagram if not
left alone.give yourself 90 minutes in hell for a little

longer than this, and at a stretch.look at the
mirror, say FUCK i have nothing to do with this and
break it.walk in and walk out of being ok and do
it very fast do it like a firefighter against

ocean currents, his training futile,
wired to fighting for safety.write an email and know that
this is romance. the air you breathe in is a different
country and your face is a safety-pin(up).bless distance and
stretch it like a continent until it
gives way to
your seas, bless plate tectonics for
teaching the world freedom.break free and

this is shayo up and pray she
sings live forever.try saying yes.say, the pins sticking

out of my tongue need safe disposal, yes. say,
Im starved and lonely and I drew your face but

I was really just hoping it was a smoke and I haven't swallowed
yet I'm waiting,yes. I'm the person who'd find you like you
find her but you dont

come around. paint a pebble for one whole day.
paint a pebble for a little longer.
keep painting the pebble till your mother comes and
throws it away and get back to being

the absence of sense and delete the
last blog post and throw away the pills because
they're hers, really, who wants to use her stuff.this 

is getting tiring, sleep it

over and forget about it, you can't for the life of you
do it anyway.

This was there like a fishbone stuck in one's throat, but i can
only guess.I don't eat fish, they reek of premature

death and regrets. it was like the first day
of the knowledge of cancer,the last
method of redemption and its lost procedure
was there like hems around my lungs and i pulled it out,
wrapped up the pills in it, and realized that they didn't 

come with my expiry date anyway.

The Dark Knight

so i finally watched it so people can now talk about it within 20 feet of me [which i wasnt allowing hitherto]. but this post is not about how crazy awesome i thought it was, no gushing about no one, all that has been done over by everyone and im not good at such posts anyway. what i wanna fucking tell you is outrageously silly, and 100% true. the FIRST thought that crossed my mind while walking away from the seat i was fixed to for the entire time the lights were out, was this:

i amaze myself and this is not an attempt to make you laugh. its just so i remember.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


the leftest little girl is my mom, then there's my uncle and aunt. mom's doing something with a khonjoni.
aaaahahahhaha the grouchy one would be mom's neighbourgirl, and the Chinese cutted haired person is herself.

there's mommy and aunty again.

polyester frock.

it beats me how cute kids can grow up to be such hitlers. the cutest is the hitlerest.:/

Monday, August 18, 2008

This is to inform you

that i've deleted my last post.

Saturday, August 9, 2008


he got curls, colours and cuss words

waste of time.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

ok so these are the posters i made for my room. customized images of bands i love.could make just two so far, will get a few more done in due time.


its got random lyrics from random oasis songs i love and its somewhat small-ish... its around normal birthdaycard size.



which, sneha thinks, is exactly two thousand five hundred and fifty five times better than the oasis one. i think i no did justice, but it looks fucking pretty in print. :D this one's bigger- A4 size and since sneha loved it she got herself one and i have one too. she prints my stuff watte dawling no? :D

Saturday, August 2, 2008