Wednesday, May 30, 2007

i hate everything. yes i must complete my sentences.

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

i hate.

Monday, May 28, 2007

through rusted bars

...the bars may rust away with time

but the word outside will still return your smile

through the rusted bars...
haha. i met new people.
and heard new things. same old new things.

SOHINI:you are one crazy crazy chick.

[this just HAD to come in somewhere,right?]

SOMEOTHERGUY[someguitarist]:you are one funny piece man.

RAWRY:haha the first time i saw you i thought you were some kind of uberintellectual teacher who loves drinking vodka. XD

yes. i is jobless yet again.

Sunday, May 27, 2007

to you

my dear someone,
There are so many things i've always wanted to ask you, always wanted to tell you, so many things that i want you to know but can never really say to you, and so many thoughts to fill you in with. But most importantly, i would like to ask you, my darling, WHY DONT YOU FUCKING EXIST?

Thursday, May 24, 2007

the best damn thing.

hide and seek biscuits are the best things that could have ever happened to the world.
dont argue.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007


we (or lets say I) do suck. and its official now.
and im so not going to face anyone in the school rock circuit in the next 2 years even if our school is allowed for the thing called FESTS, the definition of which i wish to forget. THIS INSTANT.
but that would mean not meeting rad musicians (cuteonesespecially).
how amazing. how the fooking amazing.
and i detest blogger for not allowing the straight face denoting character to show in our posts.
no you dont HAVE to answer that thank your effort.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

i am immensely bored.
tell me which part of the word immensely or the word bored you dont understand and ill gladly explain it tinyatombit by tinyalphabit or tinybetabit.
yes im THAT JOBLESS now will you stop rubbing it in?
thank you.

but the word jobless isnt quite right. we have prelims for the nie funfest tommorow where around 25 or more or 55 or something schools are participating [or so im told] and only 5 schools make it through to the finals. we are 4 people- 3 of us girls with the guitar and this guy with the drums. so. we've had just one practice session. without a drumkit that to. and my mother *ahem* wont allow me to practice tommorow. so we go straight to swabhumi, feeling like apples waiting to be thrown into this 'other' barrel which holds all the closetoorcompletelyrotten ones. and do stuff that hardly any other girldominatedband ever do in fests here.
growling. distortion.andmore growling.

i just hope i enjoy myself.
and im not quite sure if im supposed to be hoping to get through.
this is our only chance though.
ahhh how i wish we make it. YES I WISH that i can do CAN I?
we may suck but that dont mean its illegal to wish for something.

yes and now the boredom is turning into pissednessdom.
and i should go and play with my fender a little.
yes i said play with it and not play on it but who said i must be technically correct in everything i post here?
whoever said it isnt getting what he/she wants.
he may go dunk his/her head in a poolfull of dragon pus.

Monday, May 21, 2007


an eye for an eye?
haha..not quite
i'd like my kaleidoscope back instead
you can have your eyeballs right in place
and enjoy the saccharine beauty of the world outside
i'd still like to have myself trapped in neverland
sittin in the corner...with my kaleidoscope
ahhh..i see a multicoloured mayfly!
and next moment its a pyramid upside down
-a replica of the world..but not quite round-
pretty patterns being conjured out of
bits and pieces of a broken heart
but I don't mind
as long as the patterns please my eyes
but you see through all of it-
you face the truth...while I sing along the lies
you can face the bad world
and show em how tough you are
damn! you survive reality and live with it
and i shall survive -living in dreams
while you can shun your dreams
-lock em up in a dirt speckled glass jar
but i'd like more glass dreams to

invigorate my mind
for my jar ain't locked..
my kaleidoscope still welcomes me inside
and has a lot more to offer
than your mournful lullabies
my kaleidoscope is teh love
and im not afraid
even if it breaks..ill hold on
and it'll make my hands bleed?
its no matter
and then we can have another colour added to the list
RED-green-blue-yellow-purple dreams clenched in my fists
you can be busy being the realistic fool

that you've always been
and i'll still be the loser with a dreamy smile
and i'll have my kaleidoscope back somehow
ill poUnce on you
..maybe stab you with my dreams
hahaha you cant bear that agony
you cant
no i wont settle for all that you have to offer
so quit trying to enlighten me
let me be
in my dreamy trance
quit trying to dare me too look beyond neverland

quit trying to make me sober when im high
and step into my kaleidoscopic world
i dare you.
i dare you to try.


i lobe it. dont laugh. just another person in the crowd
& just like any other person in the crowd..
she gets pushed around..a lot. and a lot.
and a lot more.
time makes sure everything changes...faces disappear
and new ones appear, to haunt her existance
but to stay
until she's seen everyone and everything pass her by
with time mocking her mute cry

far too many times...has she seen
'friends' turning 'strangers'
too much of many goodbyes
sick and tired of the cruel life..she keeps
getting pushed around...

catches sight of people and faces
she thought she once knew....
the childhood best friend , flaunting his new piercing
and showing off HIS [fake] pictures....
the kind old lady ...who made her believe in angels
and in between, her dreams [of swimming through the stars]
swimming across her brain..
which makes her look at life with disdain
chasing after sweet fantasies which keep her from
facing the reality..the dreams which
disappear in a moment
or get stolen by some malicious bastard in the throng
and again...she gets pushed along
with the silence within her drowning
the vociferations of the crowd
the loneliness slowly and steadily
annihilating her soul..
but nothing makes a difference really..does it?
in the end..its all going to be like its going to be
the void that now is..will remain
..getting pushed around is just
a part of the game she's learnt to lose

and then.
they bang into each other.

a pretty stranger..
just another face in the crowd, was he?
look at each other..their glances meet...
share a few words..a few smiles
a few dreams...a few wierdly amusing fantasies..
he gives her his thoughts..she gives him her song
just two different people in the throng
the perfect strangers' nothing could go wrong
they serve as muse for each other
somehow it does matter..he says
it does matter..?she prays it were true
and before she knew it..she had sold her soul
to his heart of gold...for dreams,
the far fetched dreams..that deep down she knew
were never to come true
..and as this thought eats up her mind..
she asks him to look away
'but dont you want me to stay?'..he asks...
but she does know her life only too well
full well does she know
..that their fates,someday,will do them apart

and sure enough..
next moment he runs into another pretty stranger
forsaking her .. quitting the game
..for a stranger with a different coloured iris...
a different sounding name..
she watches the two disappear
hand in hand..
and she has no one to blame

and once again
she's just another loner in the crowd..
with nothing to save..nothing to lose..


thats something i had wroted way back. like around 2 months back?
i guess. or maybe three or maybe four
it couldnt be more...haha i just felt like posting this and another and another maybeh.
and blew eez a naice color. veary veary. =].

Friday, May 18, 2007


results. are going to be out in a day or two or in a few hours or in 4 days. THEY are unable to make up their minds and its not my fault so.but I'm beyond caring. almost. no I'm not proud of it, I'm literally shocked - i mean, i know i ain't reeli normal but how can i be THIS naive?
and of all things, im terribly terrified of APPENDIX at the moment. yes the thing inside your stomach which needs operation when enlarged.
and also of liver enlargement.
is it just the phuchhka-eating-without-telling-ma guilt surfacing?

paranoia. it strikes at the uncanniest of times. and makes me believe that all shopkeepers are out to get me. now when i should really be worried about how badly I'm going to be screwed once my results are out and how my stomach choosing to act up during the easiest computer paper of the millennium will not be counted as an acceptable excuse.but it SHOULD be. i was PUKING MY INSIDES DOWN THE SINK FOR 30 FULL MINUTES OF THE WRITING TIME AND HAD TO SIT THERE IN THAT ANNOYING CHAIR WITH THAT TERRIBLE STOMACH ACHE FOR THE REST OF THE PAPER, TRYING MY HARDEST TO NOT FALL ASLEEP.
yes i was falling asleep every now and then even WITH the stomach aching like hell. i amaze myself.
and my laptop is being a semi-nuisance. webcam wont work, not that i need it to. but anyway.
WINDOWS MEDIA PLAYER WONT OPEN. WILL NOT. its as if the whole world is conspiring against me. including U. u is a VERY annoying letter of the alphabet.
and somehow i cant get the image of avril's pink streaked hair out of my head.
canimurderher? HOWcanshedothattoherselfandhermusic?AND i hope her influence doesn't show on derek's music. but why am i bothered about a couple who don't even CARE about HOW GRAVE THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY TERRIBLE ICSE RESULTS CAN BE?
because, i am not normal. period.
and I'm not always proud of it but i don't want to die in a fire at the moment thank you. i would much rather set fire to all them shops with annoyingly fishy shopkeepers.
or feed them to giant cannibal clowns.

doesn't this font colour look HORRIBLE?

Thursday, May 17, 2007


"I is the bit of ultimate truth in the eternal lie(or was it the other way round?) we keep telling ourselves until we reach the enlightnment of our soul."
~Swami Confuzzledspiritanand on I.

"There can only be 1 I and 1 and I look similar to the eye."
~ a wannabe poet on I.

"U thinks.Therefore I dont."
~I on I.

I, the topic of today's post, happens to be the ninth letter of the alphabet. This alphabet.
The one I am using and n0+ th3 oN3 u l3!k t0 typ3 !n d00d!!!!11
I rule(s) the world and what lies beyond and is the greatest mystery Detective U Gond is yet to unravel. But there is no 'I' in 'rule' because the two words don't go very well together. They have antonymous tendencies. From the beforetheprevious sentence we infer that I is also a WORD which may be used as a sentence [legally] after the legal consultance of your spouse's lawer (because according to polpularNOT belief, there is no I after marriage , there is only We[this mysterious transformation of I into We, however, is not very observable in modernday, or unmodernday marriages, therefore i diregard the claim]), unless you were planning a divorce.

In the alphabet, I appears between the bulky H and J who, very cunningly, undermine all I's efforts to gain weight .

"I has a beautiful figure most worthy of entering the competition."
~ the organizer of Miss AlphabetOfWorldLanguages on I.

For this reason, I's most annoying relatives sometimes consider her to be suffering from malnutrition. I is also a pronoun, which is used by the speaker to refer to himself/herself.
This usage of I, however, raises many controversies, and some argue that the use of the slimandsexy pronoun 'I' to refer to oneself must be restricted to the non-obese population of the society, which otherwise projects a very misleading image of the speaker [which is not the case here, rest assured ;D]

Facts on I:

... I has a crystal ball for a brain which looks like a translucent pancake.
... I rocks everything including your dirtysmellysocks.
... there is no I in dumb but there IS u in it
... therefore U and Dumb go very well together but I dont
... I can smell rotten pumkins from 78 miles away
... no, it was 87 miles
... no it may be more but who cares but U
... and I does not care about what U cares so GAH!
... U is jealous of I's amazingness and is conspiring its murder
... which I is aware of
... and I has a better counterattacktheory which U knows not of so mwahahahahjhjhjh!!!
... and evil laughs make I's day
... so do colours-
multicoloured colours, black and white colours, and transparent colours.
... I is Noitcefrep spelled backwards
... I is going to write a dictionary where 'spelled' will be under the section of 'Words U takes ages to grasp'
... I is the first letter in 'interesting ' and without I, interesting would have to change its definition
... there is an I right in the middle of Pig, therefore, I and Pig really really get along (greedy or otherwise) and I is not ashamed of it, I takes pride in their fransip
... I uses the word fransip so that U's fat head can register the meaning of the word friendship faster than it otherwise would
... I is fond of evisceration and also chopsticks
... and also of nearly legless butterflies XD
... I is Eve's incarnation!!
... no no I lied!!
... yes yes I liesalot!!!
... I will be back with more guano to feed your appetite!!
... no lies!
... I will continue to plague the world until the day U gets its filthy arse off this universe
... I will never be forgotten. Or so says satan.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

that down there-
yes THAT THING in my previous post ... i drawed it. :S
and guess what my dad said at seeing it?
" eta ki? aarshola?"
which would translate as..
"whats that? a cockroach?"

i NEVER said i will kill you for laughing you know.
but i like it and thats that.
and i made it with antient pastels that i hate.
they are 12 years old. NOT JOKING I AM NOT. 12 YEARS NO LESS!
but anyway. it gives me some strange kinda..erm...satisfaction.:/


and i thank this one person who wont know im thanking him anyway but GAH.

Monday, May 14, 2007


her smile lights up the sunrise
as she dances with the wind

her tears freeze into the night
as she fades in the twilight
in complex hues

and she..
is all of me

Saturday, May 5, 2007


guess whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttt?

i had 3 pieces of heaven yesterday after like about a year or more!!!
life's gooooood.
lol i had 3 yes THREE phuchkas while returning from skool.
thanks to pujita. it was RAD.
and yeah you are entitled to laugh cuz im so excited over having paani puris..that too just 3 THAT TOO AFTER MORE THAN A YEAR.
its my mom's they-arent-hygenic-you-might-die-outa-thisandthatandeverykindadiseasepossible-if-you-go-near-them thing that lets me not have em yknow.
but now.
i return from school onmyown.almost:P.
so. ill have em almost everyday.or try to aleast.

and yeah im gonna be murdered fosho. dint [[ COULDNT]] go to school today and i had to help with the rabinda jayanti practices and learn up songs and work on the music/guitar bit too and help with the props and collect the eco copy from pujita for my own good and suffer during communication classes with all the others.
im SO gonna be murdered but its NOT MY FAULT OKAY.i COULDNT becuz ihavemyreasuns.

and i cant write.
creative block?
i dont like it.

Wednesday, May 2, 2007


life is a big fat beech.
and so is the world.
some things are sweet.

Its just a phase, maybe it’ll pass
But just as long as it lasts…
I’ll smile, wont you too?
Even half a smile will do


'And I give up forever to touch you,
cause I know that you feel me somehow...'

It’s amazing how you flood my senses, envelope my thoughts, trigger a myriad of emotions
and all the while be so clueless about it….
blissfully unaware of the storm that’s raging within me…
the rainstorm drenching my heart and invigorating my mind, the maelstrom stirred up by an insatiable urge to feel…
-vulnerable, weak, loved , hurt, lost, blown away, trapped, confined, free…complete…everything-
and all that I feel makes me stronger than I ever thought I could be
so, so powerful…invincible…

but how do you fit in?
you never realize what role you play in this musical..
never for once realize that YOU are the one making it happen
the void is tuneful thanks to you…the symphony resounding in the hollow

yes you…you the one staring right through this
seeing nothing but something you don’t relate to..
something not touching you even slightly
like you never realize the presence of the moonlight burning on
your skin while you’re asleep..
aah… the beauty of not knowing

and I thank my lucky stars that you don’t see the flesh and bone me
or you wouldn’t know what I am
I’m glad that you are far.. far away
far away from what they look at but never see…
far away from what I will never be

'And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life..'

but I’m not very far from you,
floating somewhere in the middle of my subconscious
running my hand over cold metal bars on a midsummer night
feeling nothing but your ice-warm touch ..
your fingers.. enchanting
embracing the breeze… I’m dreaming you up
drinking you in
making you mine…

maybe you’ll always be like the grains of time.. slipping away through my fingers
and I will love you always
like I love the moonlight- that cant be locked up in little boxes
i may not be a part of the missing pieces of your perfect picture
but you will always be a part of my perfect sky

'And I don't want the world to see me

Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am'

and it all fits in.

you know how?

sometimes, what we see makes all the difference in the world

sometimes, what we dont see, sums up our world