what happens when the cloud you had so lovingly chosen to climb upon and sit on suddenly decides that it will not tolerate your stinky ass anywhere around it anylonger and rains down instead?you fall. and break for the umpteenth time and cant remember whether this is how breaking should feel.
and when the bubble bursts and the void from inside of it spreads all around and smothers you?you cant see.you cant fucking open your eyes to the fact that you were/are stupid.plain stupid and you can do nothing about it.
and all you CAN do is get back to the coldandwithdrawn self that you are when you are not being a sticky lump of gooey shit that sucks up to anyone within reach even when they are obviously hoping that it starts raining and you run indoors while they can blissfully get soaked in the rain and get the pleasure out of imagining pinning you down to the ground and slapping the fuck out of you for being a saccharine lump of suffocating shit.
so what you do is, pretend that your life is perfectly alright with its non existance.