i am..

..a bitch. there is absolutely no other explaination to this.
:/

also, anyone who CHOKES THE SKY WITH A POLYTHENE OR SOMETHING GETS TO KISS MY ANARCHY ASS. D': what kind of a joke is it playing man i STILL cant feel my toes and its been around four hours since i got back home and its january its not suppossed to rain HELL-O!
yes i like winter but without the skypeeortheskyspit, thanks.
i cant carry an umbrella to school and neither can i travel by anything otherthanautosandbusses and change and blah i suck at playing ARPEGGIOS ANYWAY AND THANKS TO FROZEN FINGERS it gets even WORSE.
i need to kill someone. ANYONE.

the guitar the girl the heart the red

counsellors seem to be the dumbest people in the entire frigging universe.

and school authorities are actually dumber to have hired them.

:/



nvm.thats notthepoinofthispost.now look at this-

yes so.

i made that obviously :P.its ok.althoughitcouldvebeenbetter. angle of the first pic [to teh left] not quite the rightest.and all of that and also ididnthaveapropercameraforthepicwithmeinit sowebcam sobadres but I JDFNJGKSJGFlikeit yes.
xD
check dA. gogo.

her
life never had a plot
on the surface
undirected, like poetry in her sleep
it was like the autumn wind caught in a Polaroid frame.

misplaced
vagrant?

the strings let her down everytime her fingers looked
for an answer instead of resonance even her
thickest paintbrush failed to
help it with a stroke of direction
but when she whispered to the
night, her fevered cries in the dry voice full
of desperation it told her in hushed tones ..

..its just a purple dream you need to weave

just

a



p

u



r



p





l





e



who cares to write the screenplay?

it was too red...

....for me to keep

too red for me to keep

yes. played around with fingers and paper and tinypieces of driedup paint and black ballpointpen after like ages. am happy. not with the scanning though. nothing great butilike.
and my deviantart was being updated all this while even though i wasnt really blogging much. gocheckifyoulike. ok no. go check cause i'd like you to.
:]

..and sometimes what happens is you fall sick and do something in the hope of driving away the sickness,which makes it cancerous instead . happens when you are dumb/ immature/ blinded for some reason/ or just WHATEVER. WHAT DO YOU DO THEN? WHAAAAAAAT?
things go from bad to worse and all you can do is watch your peace of mind being thrown out of the window by the monsterbitchofalife. why? PLEASE make me disappear?





p.s. all this, my friend, is NOT about all that.trust me. it might be hard to imagine, but there is, indeed, more to my excuseforalife.

and there is the light, girl. the light too much for you to take. notsonice.shows you now how you were made the ghost-writer of someone else's dreams. and even when they fled with the soft touch of the mist, leaving nothing but the stark pain of uncertainty, you stopped not once to mourn. but it was you who made the prophesy, you thought.almost a choice you made and you knew you had figured it all out way back and you thought too much and forgot to cry.what could have been was to silly for you to consider, still is. now when the feeling slithers its way across the inebriated mind, nothing pricks you more than that one feeling. pity.

WHY DO THEY FUCKING PITY YOU, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

ILL SHOVE THE FEELING UP YOUR ASS IF YOU PITY THE LITTLE GIRL ANYMORE, YOU SUCKERS. AND THE WHOLE GODDAMNED ACT OF THOUGHFULNESS THAT YOU KEEP PLAYING IN YOUR MIND, JUST CHUCK IT OK? SHE DOESNT EXIST.

happymakingredandpurple.


yes itsa link youre supposed to click on and goread. sheesh you need to be told everything no?

im feeling so SICK inside that its killing me and nothing/no one can do anything about it.

newyearandallthatjazz

ok so here you go. i AM writing an oh-yay-its-a-new-year-coming-our-way! post . ok no actually i take that back. its just an oh-well-sigh-another-year-gone-by post.eitherway, i think i shouldve done it last night. but i was not really in a state. no i wasnt all drunk and having fun and going lalalalala getting high and all of that, in case you were getting optimistic about hearing such.i was only too busy staring at the ceiling getting zoned out and pissed but i have decided to not talk about pissedfulthingshere so well, letsleavethatout.

so last year. happened. you know. it was actually a year that happened. numerology once told me that 2007 was suppossed to be , for me, a number one year-ayearofnewbegginingsandsomehorseshitlikethat. oh well
it was a funny year and as i said..it happened. now i cant go ahead and describe all of what happened for the simple reason that i suck at framing sentences and my dad is yelling already [YOUNEEDTOGETTOBEDORYOU'LLGETLATEFORSCHOOLAGAIN,GIRL! and shit]. but yes. things kept flying past me like chickens being dropped from the 11th floor and it was as if i was there on the 8th floor, trying to make sense out of the foolery that was happening too fast for me to grasp. but in the desperation and urge of getting hold of a skinny chicken leg or two, a few feathers did happen to be kind enough to let me cling on to them. GIANT lightmaking feathers, them.
ok i killed it.
:/
but you get it, yes? oh fuck it if you didnt. the fact- i met great people last year. i started blogging. trying to live. and all of that jazz. themusic.theband. itallseemsbleaknow but it did start, dinnit? ANNNNNNND i got new stripey socks.
[thank sam for the little mercies xD] i cant even begin to thank the world wide fucking web.
the breaking and making. and the shaping up and all. butmostofall, whateverforce mademeruninto people like rawry,shayo <3, my sucktwin:D, suck-rita!, ayeshamylaow:P, say[the djkfhjdf ostrich] .. and my clone[justwhatwouldmycellphonedowithoutyouandshay?:P].
:] and gaygirl, you are still a funny surprise. xP
i am absolutely killing this, im aware. i just CANNOT be a heartmeltingblogpostwriter re. fishhater,pu,chiquita - i..dunno. im sorry for whatever crap is happening and i loveyouguyssomuchitsalmostfunny.
but finally, i would like to dedicate this sentence to the martian who makes so much sense that its almostscary. SHIT scary. <3 tsallgood,eh? hastobe.but we'll sing a song about getting high and purple, ok? BEMYTHOUGHTCOMMODELALALAXD

so hello newyear. be good, plis.
:D