My life is a pathetic little circus again, and this time there's just dying elephants and accident prone gymnasts. I have in effect turned into a completely obsessive eccentric, and its not all comic anymore.

In other news, I just realised a few things about myself.Like I don't really have preferences for this particular TYPE of ...things. Like, Irish men or dark chocolate (God, I LOVE dark chocolate but will gobble with the same amount of delectation when there's milk chocolates in question).But I am extremely choosy about particular cases all the same.

Also, I dig the idea of killing people so much that I seem to have recurring dreams about it, complete with all the chasing and screaming and murderous facial expressions etc. All that's missing is the concluding spurt of blood, my brain, well what do I say. It's a smart little bugger that knows its limits. But the following mornings have always been wrought with insane urges to really really stuff some knives into some chests and tummies and faces (try stabbing faces with multiple cutting instruments in your dreams, kiddos. epic gore, that) and pull out intestines and wrap them around some bleeding, mutilated faces. This is a morning for such lighthearted foolery, care to join me?


Blog hopping may be fun, but getting carried away and blog HUNTING and reading those which really, really should be made off limits for you (like say your Maths teacher's fantasy blog, which is just an example VERY distant from the cause of my woes at the moment) can make you want to do the things described in the earlier paragraph to yourself. I wish I had something to take my mind off these things but well, I'm at home. I do these things to get away from the oppressive home environment in the first place, and I just happened to be seeking comfort in the wrong places of late.

Plus, there's ulcers in my MOUTH that take the cake. : X

On a slightly cheerier note, I am rediscovering my love for Roald Dahl and Black n White movies and ruining artwork (well at least I do START with something now, and instead of the abandoning, I'm doing the ruining which has got to be a learning experience in some distant world I do not seem to be in myself). I'm growing a little too tired of bitterness flowing to my fingertips so I think I should stop typing immediately, so, so long and thanks for all the intestines.

SO

i just love that face. :)

cold paper, pale eyes

this art is my demise.

But the birds stop singing too.

moments of despair and ugly art and.

and i wonder what person from Singapore reads my blog. all these cruel people, never leaving comments. :/

Banal update in verse.

tonight is just a dull fullmoon
i hated this day's afternoon
all i have done this dismal day
is watch this psychotic cartoon.

around midday i realised
my tummy's grown a bit in size
but it also seemed a little blue
and made me let out painful cries.

i then grew calmer by twilight
'cause i liked it when cinnamon died
and when my mom said 'TELLS A TAIL!'
i felt heaven and earth collide.

dinner was such a sad affair
it made me pull out half my hair
so strode off i, without a word
without a bite, without a care.

and if you swear you'll clap this time
and you agree to wind my chime
i'll promise, and try sticking to
the promise to not ever rhyme.

a picture

that tells a tail?


HAHA MY MOM SAID THAT MY MOM SAID THAT MY MOM NEVER SAYS ANYTHING IN ENGLISH :D

Because im just stating facts.

Last time i did, (facts about another person that were allegedly stated 'unpleasantly'on the blog; about Devika and the whole Kelsey,dA, plagiarism deal, im really not doing this thinking of how to be politically correct right now, so please let me be unrefined and blunt,with names and everything else, this is my personal space for god's sake) it created trouble for people, im told. gave my blog undue publicity too, most of the feeds would show traffic only to that post, and triggered bitter words from anonymous people, sad personal shit and im losing my patience beating about the bush, but yeah, so thing is, im not sorry i wrote that post.

I'm not sorry i brought it to light (whatever it was, intentional or unintentional), for the bad punctuation in the post, for being politically incorrect if i might've been, i was doing what i thought i was ought to, and im sure i wasn't thinking too wrongly, but i have taken off that post.

Why, i could've removed it and kept quiet about it, but i didn't want to, because i wanted to be able to explain this to myself, at least. The reason i did it is because i was told( very straightforwardly, and the lack of a cushion of any amount of  hearsay made it come as a major surprise, by the way) that it not only still seriously affects her own, but also her family's peace of mind.The comments lala. Look, i have nothing personal against you. you cheated, i told. I catch anyone at it i tell because im a bigmouth like that. I didnt mean to brew hatred or open a common forum to gather around and bitch, for whatever reason, none of my concern. And THAT seemed to be the only purpose that the blogpost had been serving after the initial 'OMG-REALLY!'s and i didnt think having it around was doing anyone any good, so why not flush out the hate. I did what might do someone less harm, so there, i did what i did.

And with all due respect dudes(themdudes) ,im not taking this one down, not even for the lawyers.
(All in good humour, hohoho? Thank you.)

My cities turn blue

and are failing without you

dirty old wallet oozing spleen

so i do this when im depressed. it looks a little cleaner than in the picture,everything is a little more crisp after final touches.

what is that bad picture

one of these days, though

 I'll walk you past these windows,

 

I'll walk you through the trees;

I'll walk you to wherever 

gets you weakest in the knees.

I'm going to tell you one thing I know for certain about myself- allergic or not, I will always hate vodka. Today is very hot like every other day now but today I had to walk to college and stay there for 2 goddamned hours just to get very worked up about every other person's attitude towards the upcoming jury AND one permission letter. Too hot for people so I asked them to not meet me, this one time that I had any at all. Ho Ho. What is with me and the persistent non existence of my social life. Its too hot even for question marks and right punctuation,and I really dont need your answers.So then I came back to my room, danced to Belly Dancer and imagined to have no self respect at all so I can make myself type this out. Right now I cannot make myself carry on with life with the same conviction as always (conviction you will never find reflected in my attitude, no, its all in my head, its the secret life of Malter Witty) because I cant have my poison, nobody is willing to go score. What does it mean to have a resolution and stick to it man, I will never know.

Besides that, this is good. Tomorrow im going to visit an orphanage, as if the disabled home I keep visiting wasnt fucking with my brain enough. I'm hoping it gets done with without me feeling a strange obligation to go back there, I hope that place is a corporate bitchhole, I hope I come back with something to crib about, ready with words and jabs at whatever i see and not wrapped in thick layers of silence. What i really want to do is be a bitch, go clubbing and break an ankle. But no the whole point of this rant is, vodka sucks, baba chai.