Monday, July 7, 2008

After the collision

-
but first
you make sure there is one. we have our ventricles
folded, faulted and over-thrust, before they cave
in. not letting up until a change
brings us down the same


old relief.we're gunshots
at the firmament, defying gravity we're lovers
at His door like creepers each a
parasite to the other.and then

we're Russian dolls- you inside
me inside you encasing my music, separated
from my own darkness by our burning
skins,I'm in dithers but you
remind me how our scars keep us

fluid with swallows of ourselves we
keep losing into each other.when i have
fear sticking tight behind my knees you bend,toss
a smile,a touch and watch them
dismantle terror as if

they're children taking turns at
blowing a dandelion clock. switching
roles between a museum guide, a highway map, a mugger
you fritter away until i ask you to leave to

run.speed off like a blind guide.I'm
coming for you don't stay
still we aren't fit to
stand another big

bang we run like thieves leaving behind
all but blades and snares and when we trip

i fall, there's a blackout.but that is because
you're pressed underneath me-

transcending topography like the molten insides of
our planet, the magic carpet
of my 6 year old dreams. no final
tremors.there's a blackout and you're
right here-
too beautiful for consciousness.
-


its my first piece of shit in over a month i guess, and it sucks and its a love poem and omg i dont beleive this. :/

10 comments:

Jadis said...

Each stanza is like a metaphysical piece in miniature...nice work!

julychild said...

nice! i like the sense of movement. (not the fact that it is present, which is generally implied, but this particular kind of it that your writing evokes. can't find appropriate adjective.)

and aren't some of the earlier ones lovepoems also?

littleblackstar said...

this is too beautiful for consciousness.

:)


...When i have
fear sticking tight behind my knees you bend,toss
a smile,a touch and watch them
dismantle terror as if

they're children taking turns at
blowing a dandelion clock...


sigh.

x._across the universe said...

@jadis: thankyou:)
@julychild: thanks. =]
yes, most of them are.butwhatever. i'm not sure how i manage to churn out so much of absolutecrap, the worst kind at that-is what i meant.

@littilblackishtar:
i told you you're insane.

Doubletake, Doublethink. said...

you write some of the most innovatove poetry i have read.

Doubletake, Doublethink. said...

and clearly, i cannot spell.

little boxes said...

i loved the fluidity...
and the font size :P

paritosh said...

the metaphors used were something i havent come across for a while. the love that is described is dark. but enchanting.

weevil girl said...

@priyanka- im not sure what i churn out is poetry at all, and calling it innovative at that is a plain honour. thankyou xDD


@bdc- ty :P

@paritosh- :) unconventional, well. i hear that a lot. thank you for stopping by :D

Saturnalia's Offspring said...

[i]switching
roles between a museum guide, a highway map, a mugger
you fritter away until i ask you to leave to
run.speed off like a blind guide.[/i]

too beautiful for consciousness.

Ship howhow do you write so beautifully? Oh, and it's been said before, but I love the way the verses run into each other.