Doggerel

the mystical tune comes floating
with the breeze
the cold, doleful breeze
touches the decaying heart
..as at the sound of its own,
muffled beat..
it shivers

the tune resounds
reminiscent of a serenade
which once did please the heart
-when like a flower in full bloom
it did dance-
and now,again,in its bewildered trance
it does respond...
it quivers

the moon looks on at it
..grimace disguised as lucent smile..
the smile
-which once did spread its warmth,
softly over the heart..
the heart not numb enough to
miss its touch-
but now all that it feels is a chill
accompany the glimmer


and the tune turns into a requiem
echoing in the graveyard of dreams
that the heart has now become
-gripped by fears...gory and hollow

the tune plays on
the breeze gets wild
-like a troubled mother's
wayward child-
the moon shakes off its benevolent mask
and reveals its fiendish style
and like every flower that
it was offered once
..slowly, the heart..
it withers.


...............................................................................
wroted before the icse physics exam
i think

meh.

WHY the holy cow must i be a thousand and seven different people at the same time?
and the digits of 1007 even add up to 8.
EIGHT!
AAAAAAAAAAARRGGHHHHHHHHH
*dies*
i hope i'm one less now.
=/

and so its been raining and raining annnd raining.
the sky sure has a LARRGE bladder.psht.
last night mom was wondering if this is how the world is going to end.rains and floods and water all around.reminds me of this tool song:
Some say the end is near.
Some say we'll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this.
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks
Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I'll see you down in Arizona bay.

and NONE OF US [me mom dad] know how to swim.
HAH.

and i hate the rains so much that i hate rains very much. i want to get the rains KILLED.
okay i know what you're thinking.
what is my problem?
i know all of you dig the rains but i dont so thats that.
i allow you to shoot me.
i could use a vacation from this.

.opaquetransparency.

.loud recluse.
i know too little. make me smile?maybe it does not count. maybe ill be a little like me someday.am i like you?i dont see me.too much too little to a stupidweirdweevil. i wish i knew. thank god you dont. do you see?it will all be the same eventually.shed more tears.dark skies dry eyes funny words that sound the same as nothing.attentionseeking sadistic freak.hatredforrains.run through my veins. but dont get too close.
the sun does not faze me.is there anything left to reveal?i thought i was real.
was real.real.purple haze in the winding maze of neverland of neverland.tilt the mirror.mask those eyes.rape that smile.the smell of light the sound of smoke tinged with the feel of me.and the blue shadows of time.the dreams heave.and die.there is no close.
break the ice
and give me a few more words to fill up the hollow.

[: milligramofhappynews :]

so.
yes. YES I HAVE CABLE INTERNET CONNECTION NOW YAYAYAY!ah sucked having dail up for all these months but now YAY!

but. my LAPTOP is GAY. it will NOT allow me into youtube AND NOT ALLOW THIS STUPID FLASH PLAYER TO GET INSTALLED AND SO I HATE THAT.no watching vids :[
:@


and what more? this more.
our school. well, BILAMS has decided to be uberkind and sponser our [class 11 and 12's] optional courses for fashion designing or graphic designing.

....


DO YOU GET THAT? BILAMS!THAT 2 YEAR COURSE! YEAH! so now i wont have to take those useless shitty S.U.P.W. classes but instead indulge in more productive graphic designing shit!and in the end,i dunna, get some certificate which will make it worth the while!
XD
*chickendances*
well i dont much know about much of how its gonna help, but this is some serious vocational course kinda thingy and so we get this at school and we are the first batch who are this luckyjhsdhakjsdfhkjfa!
yeah so ive always wanted this. and so. well yeah. so well. YEAH!
XD
im great with words i know
=/

BULLAGAIN.

iamnotrelatedtomymotherandneverwillbedontevenask.


and HAH i wont even utter a WORD about happiness again.

and its sometimes so annoying to feel like i feel now that its heartbreaking and GROWL I DONT KNOW GO AWAY!

yes i crave for attention.
but you can get lost.


but maybe i dont.
its just pissing to even try to figure myself out.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!11111

im HAPPY AND I AM SO HAPPY THAT I WONT EVEN SULK ABOUT BEING TAGGED!!!!!
and i wont tell you why im happy. happiness gets jinxed fast if i tell.

BUT ZDSGFASGHFKJDHADSKJFHJSSC YAY!
:DDDDDDDD


okay so ive been tagged.
ahh its a pain.
but WAAH IM HAPPY ITS YOUR LUCKY DAY
:D


Eight Simple facts about me:
1) im very hyper.MOST of the time.
2)i LOVE hajmolas.
3)i am bipolar.
4)MERCURY!
5) i wont tell you.
6)i look my age NOT.
7)i am bad at expressing things.TERRIBLE more like. but sdfhskjdfhjdhfkjdsfs helps. a LOT.
8) i HATE the number 8. and AM a number 8. numerology anyone? and i love superman. not the movie guys.the real superman. there is only ONE real superman and thats SUPERMAN!superman can do anything. he can also kill tanks.and his cape is apple red and i LOVE APPLES!<3> and i love koalas. they are so :D!and love pigs also.msn is good too, no?and i want to get married to the moon.and well music is me. so im not talking about it. semicolons i love too.



....
uh i know it wasnt supposed to be another "about me"
BUT WIASIHDSfhkajsDF!




i tag LD and BEADYSEA and SHREYA DI and LUCIFER.
XD



oh and!
i have been told and have observed myself after looking at the mirror after a long long time that MY HAIR NOW RESEMBLES THAT OF JIM MORRISON'S!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111111

:DDDDDDDDDDD

and my mom told me last night that my attitude and appearance is getting worser than that of mr. bean's.
how must i react to that? she expected me to feel insulted. heh.
:P

the.chicken.got.burnt.

plus, it was pretty hard to chew on it.
therefore, lunch couldn't have been great.
and it wasn't great.

and i still haven't figured what i should do my case study on. WHAT am i to do?
E.V.E. yes.
that Evil.Vile.Egregious. subject.
okay no its a good subject but only its enormously pissing to do them case studies.
=/
and in other news, our school students will not be allowed to participate in any competitive entertainment under which comes western music and dance ONLY.
quiz debate classical music classical dance sports everything is just alright. they all get the opportunity they all bag the certificates. but JUST because we wretched little creatures are not
good enough at the stuff they want us to be good at and want to do stuff we are actually good at, we will be treated like wretched little creatures.
so, we are wretched little creatures who need to be getting their noses rubbed raw at the grindstone with HEAPS of work (that i still know not of, and will remain blissfully ignorant about until right after I'm pushed into the cauldron full of hot boiling soup), and not getting any creative outlet.
HOW fair is THAT?
HOLYFAWKINGFAWK.
more than half the day is done. and im still clueless about the case study topic i must start planning to choose.
IM SO DOOMED.
WHERE IS MY DOOMEDNESSPARDNER?

Today's fortune:
Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you


orkut tells me THAT!
AND WHAT TIMING!
ask it to point it out to me, please.
D:

iWanttolive

which is like not even remotely possible.


song of the day: Black and Blue~counting crows.
Fading everything to black and blue
You look a lot like you
Shatter in the blink of an eye
You keep sailing right on through
Every time you say you're learning
You just look a lot like me
Pale under the blistering sky
White and red Black and blue
You've been waiting a long time
You've been waiting a long time
To fall down on your knees
Cut your hands
Cut yourself until you bleed
Fall asleep next to me
Wait for everyone to go away
And in a dimly lit room
where you've got nothing to hide
Say your goodbyes
Tell yourself we'll reada note that says
I'm sorry everyone
I'm tired of feeling nothing goodbye
Wash your face
Dry your eyes
Cause you've been waiting a long time
You've been waiting a long long time
To fall down on your knees
Cut your hands
Cut yourself until you bleed
But fall asleep next to me
Have a dream I'm falling down
On my face
Scrape my knees
Scrape my hands until they bleed
Cause you're fast asleep next to me
Next to me ..

out of reach..

whistling to the darkness
i am listning to my shadow
croon
its never ever full moon
anymore

sliding away
into my hiding place
once again
this loneliness is
making me sore

and that bird dont hear
my song
the dead tree its perched upon
could be my paradise

if only it wouldnt
fly away
at my sight..

would you stay
my nightingale?
would you stay if you saw me
fly to you

would you sing
to bring back the moon
would you just stay and
hear me croon?

or would you slide away
into your hiding place
and leave me staring at my
shadow's blackened eye...

..i wish everything wasnt just
different phases of illusions
then i could find my paradise
in you..