so i was so busy hating everything that i didnt get to blog much.
i still am busy hating everything. with added vigour after yesterday, to tell you the truth.
but anyway.
things are pathetic. as always. but i finally have cable tv. what fun, no? NO.
NO BROADBAND, NO FUN. I WILL CONTINUE TO WHINE.
and the worst part is, nomatter how hard i try, i cannot write my kind of write.
did i mention i hate everything including my stomach which refuses to cheer up?
Friday, June 22, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
headstrings
the music singes my soul
but it doesnt burn me out
burn me out now
im so lost inside my head
just like the words
that beg for wings
and wish to fly away
but these headstrings
wind them tight
and trapped they remain
and dead flowers slip into my head
and its raining inside
its like the summer song
that melts the winter away
and its always raining
but it doesnt wash me out..
wash away the fragments
of the me i've never seen..
of the me i've always been..
im so lost inside my head
the dead flowers smell of rain
the summer and the pain
the snowflakes and the clouds
and the music
are all illusions
are they illusions?
and they spin along
with my head
i dont like this roundabout
wash me over
burn me out
just let me down this roundabout
and i will never try
to step into the mirror
and i wont ever
try to look at me again
i wish i could just
let all the words fly away
with pieces of myself
i never found
but these headstrings
wind them tight
and keep them trapped.
but it doesnt burn me out
burn me out now
im so lost inside my head
just like the words
that beg for wings
and wish to fly away
but these headstrings
wind them tight
and trapped they remain
and dead flowers slip into my head
and its raining inside
its like the summer song
that melts the winter away
and its always raining
but it doesnt wash me out..
wash away the fragments
of the me i've never seen..
of the me i've always been..
im so lost inside my head
the dead flowers smell of rain
the summer and the pain
the snowflakes and the clouds
and the music
are all illusions
are they illusions?
and they spin along
with my head
i dont like this roundabout
wash me over
burn me out
just let me down this roundabout
and i will never try
to step into the mirror
and i wont ever
try to look at me again
i wish i could just
let all the words fly away
with pieces of myself
i never found
but these headstrings
wind them tight
and keep them trapped.
Monday, June 11, 2007
back.
so back i am to kol. how great.
siliguri felt so like home. it felt like i was back there after a short vacation or something. not much has changed. no i take that back. NOTHING has changed. except for the mahananda which seems to have dried up a little more.and miraculously, the distillery smell that we always used enjoy on the way to school seems to have vanished. how nice not. :P
we stayed at the ioc guest house and well, i liked it not to say the least.but the restaurants, the food, momo, tai waah, vainayak hotel and everything was YAY!:D
but.
siliguri felt a little boring for the first time during the last three days. not because of the people, not. because of lack of places to just hang out and chill. no ccd no kfc no bigbazaar even. no roll centres at every other corner of the street. so we walked around a lot. yes, i met most of my friends. and mostly, it was me ashish and dinchen accompanied either by deepika or mona, and we walked around the whole place and blamed each other for wasting each other's time and not having a solid plan.haha dinchen wouldnt utter a word tho. what a decent and quiet lil child. ^_^
yeah so. we went karting, which was fun loads. the speed makes you lose it completely. XD
and we went to the mela, where ash had this stupid mood swing and left. git. im gonna beat him to pulp the day i meet him next. mark my words.
and mona. MONA HAS LONG HAIR NOW! yes yes.miss moliba looks a stunner. and sounds angelic. she is the school captain too now.
how verily i be the missing her. and srijana [i cudnt even spend much time with her thanks to her stupid school]. and bhums. and everyone else.
:'(
and we went to chaata's place. lol. and guitared a bit. i hear he be drumming now.
and here is the best bit.
Melody and Co. will always remember us.
we entered the instrument shop, asked em to show us around, checked out a few guitars and played for almost ages. and promised to be back today [ sunday closed eh? lets make it monday 8 o'clock then ], pretending to be really interested in buying this reddish acoustic with some weird local name for the beginner mr. ashish. wahaha and they almost thought we were about to buy it right then.
=]]]]
and the worst bit. i took the camera, charged the batteries 3 full times, and all the pictures i ever took back there were of almost dead trees.
YES I AM INSANE. i forgot to take pictures of my friends yes. shoot me.
man, ill miss that place.
now whenever i look into the mirror, i cry. because i am reminded of that place. and the people. especially the woman who gave me this haircut which makes me look awful now.
:/
siliguri felt so like home. it felt like i was back there after a short vacation or something. not much has changed. no i take that back. NOTHING has changed. except for the mahananda which seems to have dried up a little more.and miraculously, the distillery smell that we always used enjoy on the way to school seems to have vanished. how nice not. :P
we stayed at the ioc guest house and well, i liked it not to say the least.but the restaurants, the food, momo, tai waah, vainayak hotel and everything was YAY!:D
but.
siliguri felt a little boring for the first time during the last three days. not because of the people, not. because of lack of places to just hang out and chill. no ccd no kfc no bigbazaar even. no roll centres at every other corner of the street. so we walked around a lot. yes, i met most of my friends. and mostly, it was me ashish and dinchen accompanied either by deepika or mona, and we walked around the whole place and blamed each other for wasting each other's time and not having a solid plan.haha dinchen wouldnt utter a word tho. what a decent and quiet lil child. ^_^
yeah so. we went karting, which was fun loads. the speed makes you lose it completely. XD
and we went to the mela, where ash had this stupid mood swing and left. git. im gonna beat him to pulp the day i meet him next. mark my words.
and mona. MONA HAS LONG HAIR NOW! yes yes.miss moliba looks a stunner. and sounds angelic. she is the school captain too now.
how verily i be the missing her. and srijana [i cudnt even spend much time with her thanks to her stupid school]. and bhums. and everyone else.
:'(
and we went to chaata's place. lol. and guitared a bit. i hear he be drumming now.
and here is the best bit.
Melody and Co. will always remember us.
we entered the instrument shop, asked em to show us around, checked out a few guitars and played for almost ages. and promised to be back today [ sunday closed eh? lets make it monday 8 o'clock then ], pretending to be really interested in buying this reddish acoustic with some weird local name for the beginner mr. ashish. wahaha and they almost thought we were about to buy it right then.
=]]]]
and the worst bit. i took the camera, charged the batteries 3 full times, and all the pictures i ever took back there were of almost dead trees.
YES I AM INSANE. i forgot to take pictures of my friends yes. shoot me.
man, ill miss that place.
now whenever i look into the mirror, i cry. because i am reminded of that place. and the people. especially the woman who gave me this haircut which makes me look awful now.
:/
Tuesday, June 5, 2007
dfhsfhdfhkjhfkj:
shriparna -- [adjective]: Banshee-like 'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
wahaha they are RIGHTER THAN THE RIGHTEST
You mostly resemble Axle Rose You always want to be the center of attention, and if things don’t go your way, then you just walk away from the situation. You are very talented, but sometimes you let it get to your head. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com |
 |
| 'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com |
awww *sob sob*
 Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com |
| You have a sexual hidden talent You have a sexual hidden talent. You might not look it but you are a dynamo in bed. Most of your lovers think that it is from years of practice, but really, you were just born with it. Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com |
o_____________________O
i just wanted to know what my hidden talent was.
im so sure they LIE.
turn to look at me
nowi dont care if it hurts
tilt your head enough
to make me fall in love
with your shadowy smile
i dont care if it hurts
just dont leave me facing an empty mirror
do you see me?
i tinker with your words
the words you use
to conjure up a painful silence from
dont.
just take my hand
and let me fall asleep again
as you hold me close
under the dead sky
i dont want to face an empty mirror
dont make me alien to my own eyes
just look at me now
and you can leave when this night is done
cause the moon aint here to save me tonight
you can leave when im done breathing
and take with you the taste of my lost life
Monday, June 4, 2007
.sing to me.
i wake up to your silence
again
but i feel like this quiet is on the wane
and i hope
i think i hear your heart buzz
and beat a new beat
will you sing me a song now?
oh melancholy baby
sing to me, please
you know it too
the silence wont do
anymore
sing it out slow..
as each note grazes my scarred heart
sing softly to me
so i can hear the rhythm of your new heartbeat
sing it out so loud
that the echo of my emptiness drowns...
fades out..
sing to me
and my moody eyes will never stop caressing
your lips that dance
in sweet progression
let the hour glass melt away with time
as i find myself losing myself
in the melodic web you spin
let go of the silence that kills
and watch me dancing within
oh.. sing to me
your melange of feelings
as we take a round trip
down the road ahead
and return
to this moment
...so you can sing to me again
and so they say:
| You Are a Drama Queen (or King) |
 And the oscar goes to... you! You're all about overreacting and just plain acting. You see the world as your stage, and give a great performance. And while you're friends may find you entertaining at times... Everyone's secretly hoping that you'll just chill a little. (But they'd never tell you - they fear your wrath!) |
| You Are 92% Non Conformist |
 You're incredibly strange. And a weirdness like yours takes skill to cultivate! No one really understands you. And you're cool with that. You just hope you never have to understand them! |
| Your Brain's Pattern |
 Your mind is a creative hotbed of artistic talent. You're always making pictures in your mind, especially when you're bored. You are easily inspired to think colorful, interesting thoughts. And although it may be hard to express these thoughts, it won't always be. |
| Your Personality Profile |
 You are funky, outdoorsy, and down to earth. While you may not be a total hippie... You're definitely one of the most free spirited people around. You are very impulsive - every day is a new adventure. However, you do put some thought behind all your actions. Still, you do tend to shock and offend people from time to time! |
| You Are 10 Years Old |
 Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax. |
| You Are an Emo Rocker! |
 Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing. That doesn't mean you don't rock out... You just rock out with meaning. For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding. |
| Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP) |
 Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive. Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving. |
i KNEW IT.
| Your Element Is Fire |
 Your passion and emotion are as obvious as the brightest flame. You make sparks fly, and your passion always has the potential to burst out. You are exciting and creative - and completely unpredictable. You sometimes exercise control, and sometimes you let yourself go. Friends describe you as sensitive, spirited, and compulsive. Bright and blazing with intensity, you seem mysterious and moody to many. |
i knew it again.
:]
| Your Halloween Costume Should Be |
 |
haaaaaaaaaaaahahahhakjhllajf;
| Your Mind is 81% Cluttered |
 Your mind is incredibly cluttered. You have so much going on in there, it's hard to think straight. Consider talking to a therapist. It's a good idea to sort through your thoughts, if only to see which ones are worth hanging on to. |
see A THERAPIST?
YOU MAKE ME LAUGH.
| You Are Grape |
 You are bold and a true individual. You are very different and very okay with that. People know you as a straight shooter. You're very honest, even when the truth hurts. You are also very grounded and practical. No one is going to sneak anything by you. People enjoy your fresh approach to life. And it's this honesty that makes you a very innovative person. |
| You Are 4: The Individualist |
 You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself. You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable. You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt. Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel. At Your Best: You are inspired, artistic, and introspective. You know what you're thinking, and you can communicate it well. At Your Worst: You are melancholy, alienated, and withdrawn. Your Fixation: Envy Your Primary Fear: To have no identity Your Primary Desire: To find yourself Other Number 4's: Alanis Morisette, Johnny Depp, J.D. Salinger, Jim Morrison, and Anne Rice. |
i lobe the other number 4s and feeli great to be one
XD
| You Would Be a Pet Cat |
 Independent and aloof, you don't like to be dependent on anyone. And as for other people, you can take them or leave them. You often don't care. You live your life by your own rules. And you have deep motivations that no one truly understands. Why you would make a great pet: You're not needy or greedy... unlike other four legged friends. Why you would make a bad pet: You're not exactly running down to greet people at the door What you would love about being a cat: Agility and freedom What you would hate about being a cat: Being treated like a dog by clueless humans |
[call me POO if was to be your pet cat hahajhjkkf;]
haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaahahahajhkjkjhkjhkjhkjhkjhkjsktwetvt!
arent they like SO right?
XD
im not all that pissed anymore. although not having broadband [STILL!!!!] kinda sucks. oh no i take that back.it SUCKS BIG.I HATE IT. MEGA HATE.i dont understand parents. they are just jbgfkjdgkjdgkjsgkjdkgjdkjgg.
apart from that, things are pretty alright.i guess.
like, i got manymany lotsof chocolates yesterday, and played with this ubercute 2 year old. what phun! ^_^
it was sanghita's cousin. awww he was like so very cute!we played with toycars and this minuscule fighter plane and i dedicated most of my time and energy in making him pronounce "plane", which he failed to do anyway.the closest he could get was "apane" or "pane".
and i'd go "awwww!"
=D
and when i grow up and become a big girl, nono,a big woman, i will have a kid like him.:DDDD or adopt. not much of a difference.i like the idea of the latter better.
haha i lobe babies.*hugebiggrin* while they are still babies. i want a bonsai baby.i want i want.
mommy! :'[
i want a cute 2 year old cousin now. THIS INSTANT. a cousin who does not try to rob all my colours/cars/cassettes/colourfulrubbers/etc away or tries making jhaalmuri out of my books.
ggdfgfg!!!!1111
but gah.2 year old babies are impossible to be produced at such short notice.
hahahhjhkkasfha;
im sick. yes.
even literally.i cant stop sneezing.i just sneeze and sneeze and sneeze away all day.dust allergy, light allergy, dark allergy, wind allergy heat allergy cold allergy food allergy hunger allergy and what not. allergy is evil.
EVIL.and i dont even know if i spelt it [allergy?] right.bleh.
oh and and im going TO SILIGURI YES YESYESYUDAGFSHF!!!!! for 3 days only but IM GOING THERE YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! imiissitsomuch.
:'[
ill meet my old friends and shop and shop and shop a lot more.
:D
and ill hog.
MOMO!<3>
ahh but shame school isnt on now. the school there i mean. or i could go meet EVERYONE i know. and and and :'[
i miss that school.
now if you excuse me, i need to go get some tissue papers.
apart from that, things are pretty alright.i guess.
like, i got manymany lotsof chocolates yesterday, and played with this ubercute 2 year old. what phun! ^_^
it was sanghita's cousin. awww he was like so very cute!we played with toycars and this minuscule fighter plane and i dedicated most of my time and energy in making him pronounce "plane", which he failed to do anyway.the closest he could get was "apane" or "pane".
and i'd go "awwww!"
=D
and when i grow up and become a big girl, nono,a big woman, i will have a kid like him.:DDDD or adopt. not much of a difference.i like the idea of the latter better.
haha i lobe babies.*hugebiggrin* while they are still babies. i want a bonsai baby.i want i want.
mommy! :'[
i want a cute 2 year old cousin now. THIS INSTANT. a cousin who does not try to rob all my colours/cars/cassettes/colourfulrubbers/etc away or tries making jhaalmuri out of my books.
ggdfgfg!!!!1111
but gah.2 year old babies are impossible to be produced at such short notice.
hahahhjhkkasfha;
im sick. yes.
even literally.i cant stop sneezing.i just sneeze and sneeze and sneeze away all day.dust allergy, light allergy, dark allergy, wind allergy heat allergy cold allergy food allergy hunger allergy and what not. allergy is evil.
EVIL.and i dont even know if i spelt it [allergy?] right.bleh.
oh and and im going TO SILIGURI YES YESYESYUDAGFSHF!!!!! for 3 days only but IM GOING THERE YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! imiissitsomuch.
:'[
ill meet my old friends and shop and shop and shop a lot more.
:D
and ill hog.
MOMO!<3>
ahh but shame school isnt on now. the school there i mean. or i could go meet EVERYONE i know. and and and :'[
i miss that school.
now if you excuse me, i need to go get some tissue papers.
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